End of the Earth at 2012

Take note that I am not saying maybe or it is said or anything like that, I am saying it straight and very clear: The world WILL be destroyed on 21 December 2012.
Doesn't that prove that I am a profit...er, I mean prophet, straight from the portal of er...straight from...wherever prophets come from?
Haha...no, it doesn't. I am NOT a prophet. I am a conspiracy theorist and I call myself Conspiracy Man.
I became Conspiracy Man when the Big Booming Voice suddenly appeared in my head one day and...ere...ok, that is a completely different story. This article is not about that, but about what is going to happen on 21 December 2012.
Let me give you the real facts and not the usual speculation you read on all these other websites.
I, Conspiracy Man (loud echo), is the only one who knows the truth.
People think that only one thing is going to happen on 21 December 2012 that will destroy the world as we know it. That is simply not true. There is basically no single event that can destroy our world. No, sisters and brothers, you have to get up very early in the morning to destroy the whole world. Out earth is one tough cookie.
But...
On 1 December 2012 such a lot of disasters are going to struck earth all at the same time, that we have no chance of survival. No, chance at all. When all those disasters strike at the same time, namely 10:00 on 21 December 2012, the earth will crack like an egg.
OK, some of us will survive, because some of us - namely me, Conspiracy Man (loud echo),- is building a titanium underground hiding place, where I am going to sit out the cataclysm while drinking Coke and playing Need For Speed on my Xbox 360. (And by the way, watching and laughing at people who are laughing and scoffing at articles like this, through my video-wall, built into my titanium underground hiding place.)
Others will survive, because they will be safe in giant arks - being built in the Himalayas by the Chinese even as you read this - when disaster struck. For you who now want to rush to get their names on the list, hold on; you are going to need to pay one billion euros up front before your name will be listed. (By the way, this was not stolen from the plot of the movie 2012. 2012 was made to portray the real building of the giant arks in the Himalayas, so that any conspiracy theorist who writes about it, will be called a fool, because people will say it comes from the plot of a movie. Can you see how clever the Illuminati is?)
After these disasters about 8 percent of the world's population will be left alive. We will have to rebuild the world from less than scratch.
Not a pretty picture...not a pretty picture at all...
I have done a lot of studying and collecting of information about the 2012 cataclysm:
I laid my sticky fingers on highly classified, secret photos that the powers ruling this world don't want you to see.
Why is 2012 going to happen?
Who predicted 2012 the first time and how did they know it to be true?
What exactly is going to happen on 21 December 2012? It is more than one disaster, but what exactly are those disasters?
Is there anything you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones on that faithful day?
How is the current recession connected to 21 December 2012?
How is the current crisis in the Middle East and in other Arabic speaking nations connected to 21 December 2012?
Why is Muamar Gadhafi a key figure in the 21 December 2012 cataclysm? Just think about it for a second, he has always been living in a tent, no matter where he went. I have found out why.
Watch this space as the clock keeps on ticking...

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